1. Result of a car accident
2. It's an ongoing legal matter, so I must refrain from discussing it
3. Fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
4. Bar fight (you should see the other guy)
5. Ran into a doorknob
6. Had endoscopic sinus surgery
7. Snorted too much cocaine
8. "I fell down some stairs"
9. Planking stunt gone wrong
10. I'm not sure exactly, but the doctor said it would stop bleeding if I just kept my finger out of there
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