Rhinoceros Party

In America, there are really only two political parties; the Democrats and the Republicans. Technically though, there are other officially recognized parties, such as the Independent, Green, and Socialist parties, and to an even lesser extent, the United States Marijuana and Pirate parties. 

But among the slew of minuscule, and practically insignificant parties recognized in this country, none of them come close to the satirical silliness of a certain campaign from our northern neighbors.

In Canada, there is an official, federal political party dubbed the Rhinoceros Party, whose main campaign promise is not to keep any of its promises. Currently in its second incarnation, the political movement was originally founded in 1963 and became a comedic platform in which to contest current federal elections. It was disbanded in 1993 after election reform laws were passed, and then reformed anew in 2007. 

Basically, the political party exists as a satirical commentary on the state of current elections and government. The Rhino Party runs their own candidate in each election and Canadian citizens vote for them as a type of passive aggressive way to protest against the real candidates. It's a simple outlet in which they express dissatisfaction without consequence; they'd rather throw their vote away on a joke candidate than give it to a real one.

Over the years, the Rhino Party has gone to humorous lengths to keep its satirical stature alive. First off, there was the first incarnation of the party's claim that they were the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a Brazilian rhinoceros who was elected member of Sao Paulo's city council in 1958. The party's current incarnation continues this and still lists Cornelius The First, an actual rhino from the Granby Zoo, as the party's leader and logo inspiration. 

The reason behind choosing a rhinoceros to represent the party was a direct jab at politicians, because like them, rhinos are "thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces."

Take a look at some of the party's past, election platforms:

- Institute English, French, and Illiteracy as Canada's three official languages.

- Amend Canada's Freedom of Information Act. "Nothing is free anymore;

  Canadians should have to pay for their information."

- Store nuclear waste in the Senate. "After all, we've been storing political

  waste there for years."

- Adopt the British system of driving on the left; to be gradually phased in

  over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually

  including small cars and bicycles last.

- Put the national debt on Visa.

- Make the Trans-Canada Highway one way only.

- Build one nuclear power plant per household, including monthly distributions

  of lead underwear to Canadians. Indoor lighting would then be provided by

  radioactive citizens.

- Pledge to eliminate small businesses, and replace them with very small

  businesses, having less than one employee.

- Repeal the law of gravity.

- Tear down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans can see the Pacific

  sunset.

As I mentioned earlier, the Rhino Party's main campaign promise was not to keep any of its promises. So even if a candidate did manage to finally win an election for once, they wouldn't be expected to uphold any comical platform declarations.