It's no secret that Hollywood has gotten lazy, sacrificing good original film ideas for half-assed remakes, adaptations, and gimmicks like 3D. It's all about doing the least amount possible to get the most amount of money possible for the majority in the film industry these days.
And just when I thought the industry couldn't get more pathetic with all its rehashed ideas, I saw the ads for a new film that just opened this weekend called New Year's Eve which instantly reminded me an awful lot of another film that came out last year called Valentine's Day.
There's more similarities between the two than just both being named after holidays. After some quick research, I discovered that both films are from the very same director, Garry Marshall, and penned by the very same writer, Katherine Fugate. So of course they're going to be similar.
But wait, there's more! Not only do both films feature an ensemble cast of 15+ big name actors, but two actors, Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Biel, are also in both films. The problem with casts this big in this type of film is that hardly any of them get any screen time longer than 10 minutes and hardly get the chance to, or put forth the effort into, actually acting. They basically just show up for a few days of filming, read a few lines as if there was a teleprompter in front of them and let their audience-drawing name be attached to a poster.
The description of both film's plots are pretty much the same as well. Valentine's Day: "Intertwining couples and singles in Los Angeles break-up and make-up based on the pressures and expectations of Valentine's Day." New Year's Eve: "The lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New Year's Eve."
By this point, any intelligent person should have realized that this is EXACTLY the same fucking movie. The only thing that has changed is the holiday, city, and a few actors...none of which really matters, because none of those things are integral to the "story". This same film could have been made anywhere with anyone.
Hell, I'll make up my own holiday movie right on the spot just to show you how easy it is.
We'll call it St. Patrick's Day and it'll be about a bunch of couples and singles whose lives intersect in Boston, as they fall in and out of love during the most alcohol-induced fun holiday. It'll star Ryan Gosling, Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Depp, Amy Adams, Winona Ryder, Justin Timberlake, Meryl Streep, Al Pacino, Common, Rachel McAdams, Cameron Diaz, George Clooney, Michelle Williams, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hanks, and of course Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Biel.
See how easy that was? I just made myself millions of dollars in a few seconds. It's the same goddamn movie in every way and yet, I bet not a single film studio would hesitate to produce it.
And I wouldn't put it past Garry Marshall to do exactly this and continue to lazily pump out the exact same film, one year after another, just named after a different holiday each time. If I had to guess though, I think his next film will be based around the 4th of July, because fireworks are just so darn romantic!
At least the critics know exactly what New Year's Eve is and that it's pure shit. There's still some hope, I guess.
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